Weigh-In Week 15!

Hello Everyone and welcome to a brand new boot camp cycle!

I knew I was going to be out of shape being I didn't go to boot camp last week, being the previous week I only went to two sessions, being I smoke....I KNEW IT. Why did I set myself up like this?!

Well, it went great. Being back feels good and I just WISH I could remember that when I wake up in the morning! I pushed myself hard and although it took about 20 minutes for me to get back into it, the most important thing was that I DID get back into it.

How I feel after working out is indescribable. It's like energy overload...I dunno how else to describe it!

I have a REALLY busy day in front of me so with that said, let's get to the weigh-in. Don't worry, tomorrow I will fill you all in on how Thanksgiving went and how I crashed and burned on Saturday. =)

The plan was to lose 3 pounds AT THE VERY LEAST this week. Unfortunately, I only lost 2. Wait, that doesn't even sound right. Let me try this again. I LOST TWO POUNDS THIS WEEK! How awesome is that? That means I made it through Thanksgiving without a gain and STILL lost! And I didn't want for much =)

That brings my total weightloss to 36 pounds (35.8)!!! AMAZING. I feel better, my pores are smaller and I just want to run ALL of the time. Unfortunately, I can't. lol.

As the year winds down...I realize I'm going to have to give up smoking soon. It's a scary thought, but I can barely breathe after running for awhile and it's so not good. If I'm going to have a healthy lifestyle, I gotta change that as well. I knew I couldn't do it all at once...so maybe by January I'll be ready? The goal was to completely stop smoking by the age of 30. That gives me until September. But I feel like maybe I'll be ready in January. I'm just going to start looking at really disgusting videos of what the smoke and nicotine does to my insides and what quitting can do to change that!

Thank you all for reading. Love you MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xo,
K

ps. 36 pounds down and I have 43 more to go before I hit my MAIN goal. HOWEVER, once I'm at that main goal I am going to reevaluate, see if I want to lose more and also see if I can maintain at that weight.

pss. If you haven't yet, SET YOUR DVR to record the Rockefeller Xmas Tree Lighting Ceremony!!!

Best Friends One Girl Could Have!

Hello readers!

I know I promised you all glitz and gold and pretty little paragraphs tied up in ribbon, my bad for not getting it done.

I am getting sick! WTF? I've already BEEN sick this year, who needs/wants to be sick twice in a year? The thing is, I know it is harder for my body to heal itself when I am running around and stuff but it has to be making me healthier. My body is playing games with me!

Here's the thing, I think I caught this one in time. I THINK I'll be able to nip it in the bud before it gets bad. That's the good news. The bad news? The bad news is that on another note, we did have make up boot camp this week (a free for all Mon-Thurs) and for some odd reason...I couldn't get out of bed to go! It was just TOO early and I was just TOO sleepy and comfortable. I think that as it gets colder it's going to get harder and harder to leave my sweetie. Needless to say, it MUST be done.

A new boot camp cycle starts next week and I have a goal of losing ten more pounds by xmas which would bring my total loss to 45lbs since mid august! I'd be okay with that. The thing is, CAN I do it? I don't know. Especially the way I haven't worked out this week!

It's the TOM and ya'll know what that means. Cranky Kristin. Although I must admit, I've found myself a lot more carefree and nonchalant these days. That's not to say I still don't have attitude, I do but moreover I'm just OVER drama. It's weird because for so long I thrived on it and used it as a stifle in my life.

I guess I'm learning to be happy in my own skin. =) This weekend was very festive! I attended the pre-taping of Mariah Carey on the Rockefeller Christmas Tree lighting taping and that was a BLAST! Me and my girl Tash ended up front row. Which of course, was fabulous. Then our girl Tiff came in town and we headed to the No H8 Campaign photo shoot in Hoboken at the W. That was a BLAST! Was even joined by a boot camper, F! The wonderful lady who I went to see Carrie Underwood with.

It felt great to take the No H8 photos and know that when I receive them back (4-6 weeks) I wouldn't see someone I didn't know. It would be MY FACE! Not some fat girls I don't know. The problem with 4-6 weeks is I'm going to be even smaller by then soooo eh, who cares. Whatevz! I hope I love em =) Such a GREAT cause and I met so many loving and wonderful people. Everyone deserves to be happy. Ya'll know my views on THAT!

I also had a mini reunion with my college girls, pre-thanksgiving annual dinner! It was truly overwhelming, all of their comments on my weightloss. I was filled with so much joy I almost began to cry! That is until one hater stepped out and tried to rain on my parade. Needless to say, I was so proud of myself. I handled myself with class and grace. Haters can no longer get to me. Seriously. I'm beautiful, I know it. I don't give a fuck what anyone else says. The pouch DOES need to go tho! I do feel bad that it was another overweight girl, in my mind we should always stick together and never try to bring someone else down, especially when I could give her a few tips. Eh, what can ya do?

One more thing to note, It's so weird now, when D tells me I'm beautiful, I actually HEAR him and totally BELIEVE him. That feels good. Not just outside but inside. "Our love is stronger than any love, addicted just can't get enough". - MC - Word girl. Word.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving festivities. Remember all we have to be thankful for in this world. Your health, your family, your friends, the roof over your head, the food on your table, your career, the car you're driving, the best friend you haven't called in awhile but you know will be there for you when you need them, the love of God shining down upon all of us. We are here and we MUST LIVE.

xo,
K

ps. Yes I've been on point and eating right! Haven't left course once =) Feels amazingggggggggggggg! Now if I could just wake up in the mornings! Here's to me working out on my own tonight!

Monday Weigh-In! Week 14!

Hello beautiful people!

This weekend was a fabulous one! I have so much to say but can't really fit it all in today so I will be writing a long detailed blog tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'd like to update you on today's weigh-in! I lost a total of 3 lbs exactly! Amazingness. I feel SO GOOD. That brings the total weight loss in 14 weeks to 34 pounds!! I have a lot more to go but I've almost reached the halfway point. I can't even believe it. 3 months in and 34 pounds (33.8 lbs) gone. I am hoping I can keep this momentum up through Thanksgiving...I am hoping to be down at the very least another 2 pounds by next Monday. I figure that inspiration will help me get through the Holiday feast unharmed. =)

Usually this week we have off of boot camp but because of all of the days off this session he is having boot camp Mon-Thurs (I won't be there Thanksgiving Day). I am VERY happy about that. =)

Remember, tomorrow I will be writing more!

xo,
K

Oh Santaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Busy busy day filled with Santa Claus, kids dancing and ringing in the New Year? Uh yeah. I'm off to join in the festivities later on this evening and have a busy time from now until then soooooooooo. MERRY CHRISTMASSSS (a month early)!!! I'll fill you all in either tomorrow or Monday!

Love ya!
-K

sidebar: Don't worry, I'm still on plan =)

Your Authentic Self...Thanks Oprah. 'preciate it!

"Sometimes life (love) can come and pass you by, while you're busy making plans. Suddenly it hits you and then you realize it's out of your hands." - Ava Maria - Beyonce

Hello my lovely friends!

First, I should start off by saying yesterday I took off for a mental health day. I had to figure out what was going on mentally that was causing me to put up walls and not push through EVERY SINGLE TIME. I realized what it was, I am NOT used to having to push myself harder just to sweat. When I first started boot camp, 5 push ups would tire me out and I'd be dripping sweat. I can't do 5 push ups anymore and think I'm doing something. I'm not.

Today I went in with the gusto and did just about everything and did it hardcore. I tried to be the fastest and the most accurate. I wasn't competing with anyone but my former self. I definitely 100% succeeded. The crazy thing is I can FINALLY ADMIT to myself that I AM GOOD. I can actually KEEP UP and do the work outs given to us and I can't blame it on being out of shape anymore. I should be able to do everything and if I absolutely can't, at least TRY. It's amazing to me because for so long I thought "Oh I can't do that exercise because I'm too fat" it's just NOT true. It was so incredible to push myself and succeed at everything he threw in front of us.

Here is a bit of what our work out was:

1. Running/Jogging around bball court (I think for 5 minutes) - I only stopped once for 2 secs. I like basketball courts MUCH more then I like tracks. I don't have to measure it and I can just GO.


2. 10 burpees then one pushup, 9 burpees then two push ups, 8 burpees then 3 pushups and so on and so forth until you work your way up to 1 burpee and ten pushups.

3. Partnered, one person at one side of the court is doing wall sits while the other does 10 stand up kick outs (repeat 3x trading places each time so you are doing a total of 3 wall sits and 3x 10 stand up kick outs)

4. Partnered, one person does jumping jacks while the other runs to the other side and does weight lifts sitting then standing, I forget the name. Repeat 3x each exercise.

5. A LOT of being in a push up position, lifting right hand, touching shoulder while staying straight on, then lift left hand touch right shoulder while staying straight on, then doing a stand up kick out 10x. Repeat 3x.

There were a lot of other exercises but those are a few!

I did them all and FAST if I do say so myself.

Anyway, in reference to the title of this blog, I have to say, losing weight or getting healthy or changing your outward appearance isn't just as simple (at least in MY case) as working out and eating right. You go through MAJOR emotional changes. I started gaining weight soon after college. I started working and work became my LIFE. My relationship started failing, my work was impeccable, my confidence grew at work but my outside and inner confidence roared with disapproval of how I was living my life.

In essence, life was passing me by while I was busy making plans.

I was told today that when I first started I was bubbly and happy and outgoing and now I can sometimes come off as rude, which in turn makes me in-authentic. I can see the rude part being true. However, I don't believe that makes me phony or in-authentic. But, people will see only the parts of you that they want to see. You cannot dictate how others perceive you, never try. That is why losing weight should ALWAYS be about YOU and not anyone else.

This is a MAJOR journey. For much of my adult life I've been overweight and a lot of it was also obese. When you are "THAT GIRL" you can either wallow in misery and bring everyone down OR you can be the funny outgoing one that everyone wants to be around. For the most part, I chose the funny outgoing one.

As I'm losing weight, getting healthy, I'm realizing that can't be me ALL the time. It's just not who I am nor who I was raised to be. I'm outspoken, I'm LOUD, I'm ignorant, I'm STRONG, I'm dependent, I'm independent and a HOST of imperfection. Those few adjectives do not describe me or make me up as a person in the least, but they are part of who I am.

I have gone through a lot of changes both personally and emotionally these past 3 months and it was partly thanks to having an AHA moment from one of Oprah's shows. She always gives tips on how to be your most authentic self. It's something I fear I will struggle with for the rest of my life (as almost any sane person who wants to be the best they can be does). We are constantly changing and growing as individuals, throw a major life change into the mix, whether it's a career change, losing weight, the beginning or end of a relationship and you have a whole host of new issues to work out!

In the past month I've been cleaning out my closet (my inner being). Figuring out who I am, who I want to be and what I need to do to get there. Do I yell at waitresses or shun people on the street? Nah, my Midwest upbringing causes me to be nice to everyone I meet, I say hi on the streets to strangers in NYC and get the weirdest looks but yet I can't stop myself! (Thanks mom!)

However, I can be rather harsh to people I don't like. Sometimes even to the point of where I despise them and won't utter a word their way. Although I never wish ill-will upon anyone, one thing I'm trying to change is my MOUTH! I have a strong one on me and now that I'm losing weight I find myself more judgmental of people then ever before. It's really hard to put everything into categories and work through issues when so many of them are extremely different yet they all connect.

I have positivity in my life that I've never had before. I bring the fun wherever I go and damn it, my friends love me =) I know that during this process of self exploration I'm going to discover more secrets and intricacies to my mind, body and soul then ever before. I'm very excited about it but also scared...it's crazy how losing a little bit of weight can really make you do a 180 in terms of mindset. I knew this would happen, hell, I set it up to happen. I wasn't going into this with one goal but 100 goals!

After all, I can't look like the best me on the outside and not be the best me on the inside. =) Birds of a feather flock together and I don't want to be the "bad" bird, nor do I want bad birds around me.

Anyway lovelies, put a smile on your face because I have a big one!

xo,
K

Sidebar: Yesterday I said that we all have really strong camaraderie, I would just like to say that today we all really cheered each other on and it DOES help.

ps. I <3 Oprah! Is this season good or WHAT?!

What's Black and White and Exhausted All Over? (Plus - Weigh-In!)

You guessed it, ME!

Just a quick FYI, this blog is going to be extremely all over the place and probably have grammar errors throughout it. I am exhausted and not in the mood to type anything other than what is coming from my head!

Sorry for not checking in yesterday, life has been one big heave ho of surprises! I love it this way though...truly, if you have negative people in your life (passive aggressive, always starting something, never happy in their own skin)...negative thoughts, ideals, just any negativity, See it, reach out and grab it and push it away from you. The sooner the better. I've cut off some major negativity and gained a BUNCH of positivity in return. I seriously am in LOVE with life right now! Always remember, you can tell a LOT about a person from how many CLOSE friendships they have. If they have too many or one or none? I'd probably say get out quickly. Life is for living, not living uptight! (That's jay ya'll!)

I am however, extremely exhausted. Last night out of the blue a fellow Boot Camper text me and asked if I wanted to head over to the Carrie Underwood concert with her. It was amazing. That girl sure can SANG! One song I had never heard before (why, i dunno) "Temporary Home", oh man, it touched me in so many ways....anyway, the concert started at 7:30 and didn't get over until 11:05! Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep!

However, imagine if you will being in an arena that serves hot dogs, cheese fries, pepperoni pizzas, soda, popcorn and chicken wings! Did I mention alcohol? I was FAMISHED and had no time to prep dinner so before I left the house I grabbed a banana, that stifled me for another hour. But once at the arena I had to find something healthy....I didn't let the smells get to me, I ended up settling on half of a tomato wrap with turkey lettuce and tomato. NO Mayo or cheese! But I did put a half packet of mustard on it for flavor =) I dunno why but I was extremely proud of myself for this feat! I guess because I proved to myself that I do have will power, but not only that, I was kind of disgusted at all of the people sitting around stuffing their faces with loads of shit that will take days to digest or just become fat. =( That's not to say it didn't smell good though!

Anyway, today's boot camp was HARD. It was indoors on a basketball court (which it will be at Mon-Thurs, Friday is indoors at a boxing studio).

Our trainer said today that we lack camaraderie. I have to disagree. We have gotten to the point where all of us know each other so well that I think we know each others moods and limits. We are always going to have off days and yes, maybe we could pump each other up more but I know I wasn't the only one who got a text or two after boot camp with a GOOD JOB from other girls in order to lift everyone's spirits.

Today was back to back weights, leg exercises, squats, suicides after suicides. I was so exhausted from it all. I can't say I don't feel GREAT because I do! Except, I am TIRED!

Being I didn't blog yesterday I'll now do my weigh-in. So yeah, the goal was 3lbs lost to make up for last week. Sadly, I didn't hit that goal. I instead hit a 1.8 loss. Am I super bummed? HELL NO. This brings my total weight loss 13 weeks in to 30.8! I am in disbelief! I know that next week is gonna be a big number. I feel it in my bones and my body, mainly because, I had an off week and it takes your body time to adjust and get back into the groove of things. I am REALLY back in the groove now.

I feel like such a new person. It is cool to just eat right etc. but when you incorporate exercise your body begins to SHAPE itself and get tighter. It is truly amazing to watch it as it happens.

I went shopping this weekend for just a FEW items. Like I have said before, I refuse to buy an entire new wardrobe that I will only be wearing for 1-2months. Upon entering the GAP, I took two sizes down. A 14 (I was a 16) and a 12. I tried on the 12 first, when it FIT and fit WELL I almost fell out in the dressing room. I NEVER come out of dressing rooms, oh you best BELIEVE I came out and showed D! He was so proud. I looked GOOD in them jeans too lol. I know it was probably crazy to spend 70 on jeans I'll only be wearing a few months but I find them to be a great investment for my self esteem.

I also had to buy a new bra. At this point, all of my former bras are now falling off of me, no...literally FALLING off. I have gone from a VERY VERY TIGHT (I'm talking last notch tight) 40C to a 38C and even fit a few 36's...but I think those were made big. I ended up getting a few 38C's and I'm pleased with the purchase! I also was able to buy a size TEN (Yes, a 10!!!) dress. It is VERY VERY tight and VERY VERY short but whatever. I'm gon' rock it and I don't care what anyone has to say! Only positivity!


I hope you all enjoyed today's blog! I am in a good place and I wish you all nothing but blessings. Your words of encouragement and comments have allowed me to get this far. You make me accountable even when I don't want to be.

When I made the decision to start a blog AND post it on my Facebook page where EVERYONE could read it...I knew it would cause a lot of people to read and a lot of people to laugh at my past failures (the ones not comfortable in their own skin) and a lot of people who really could relate. But I did it for the GOOD people AND mainly to motivate myself. I don't fail. I succeed. I don't care how long it takes me...I will reach my goal weight, goal size and damn it, I WILL get an ass. =)

Until next time,
K

I'm Back B*#&^!!!!

It is now officially Friday and I have been back on the wagon for five days!! It feels SO GOOD!

Today was a boxing day at boot camp. LOVE IT! HATE IT! Such a weird relationship. I found myself not wanting to get out of bed this morning and then just as I had convinced myself I needed more sleep, something weird happened. My body would NOT let me go back to sleep, it was great. It forced me to get up and I knew that I had to go.

I find the stance we have to have while boxing to be the hardest part of boxing...that and keeping my hands up to my chin in between punches. W really kicks our asses during boxing and while I appreciate it, I think I need more water breaks lol. He does play music though (that I made the mixed CDs of!) and that TRULY TRULY helps me! I love having a beat to follow along to...seriously.

Anyway, I'm five days of being back on schedule and I KNOW (okay hope) I am going to drop at the VERY LEAST three pounds this week! I cannot wait til the weigh-in on Monday. I have to do this now...I'm almost glad I had my falling off this past weekend. I proved to myself for the FIRST TIME EVER that when I fall during a change of lifestyle (eating healthy) I can pick myself back up and jump right back on the horse. It is also good because it made me more determined then ever to make healthy choices during Thanksgiving festivities (one of which I have Nov. 20th). Thanksgiving is a time of thanks, not a time of gluttonous choices and feeding your body stuff which it doesn't want. If you fall immediately asleep after you eat, you obviously made the WRONG choices. Food should energize you, not put you to sleep. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!

Alas, I am off! Wish me luck! I AM going to go to boot camp tomorrow (another boxing day). YES! I'm going on the weekend. I owe it to myself, Monday and Tuesday we had off and I really need to get in every ounce of fight I can.

One thing I am concerned with is my ass. It is finally starting to perk up a bit, trust, I notice. But I truly only notice in the shower and when I'm wearing tight jeans and they don't completely fall off. I think the issue is I have to lose more weight first. I never had a HUGE ass, and I don't want one, but I used to (think High School) have SOMETHING back there. Now it's just a mass of ugliness, well it looks a LOT better then 12 weeks ago but I still have some fat to lose back there (think: A LOT) so I need to get all of this fat off and then it will be more about toning etc. In the meantime I'm going to continue to do butt exercises so that as the fat does fall off, what is lying underneath is firm. =)

I can't wait til all the fat is off and I just have to tone although I imagine maintaining a healthy weight and toning is going to be a whole new set of obstacles to overcome. Hence the reason I gave myself a year. =)

xo,
K

ps. Did I mention yesterday was the last day of working out outside in the winter? SCORE!

Soooo I went off plan...

Hello lovelies -

So, I'm so sorry I haven't written in awhile. It has been an EXTREMELY busy time in my life. Needless to say...I have a lot to catch you up on but because I'm short on time, I'm going to try to do it very quickly.

Last Friday we had our first boot camp where we did boxing! I had yet to receive my boxing gloves so I had to borrow W's. It was INTENSE! I never in a MILLION years imagined that boxing would be so hard. I truly thought "okay, 1 2 punch". I apparently used muscles (and so did the other girls) that we never use during boot camp, or under-worked muscles or something. That in itself is CRAZY because we work out every part of our bodies! Anyway, boxing is HARD core. Then, in between jabs and punches and the extreme cardio that learning how to move in a ring gives you, we had to do push-ups/sit ups etc. IN OUR BOXING GLOVES! You try this, I dare you. It's HARD. I had extreme muscle pain all weekend long.

As per my blog last week, we had no boot camp on Monday or Tuesday because W was out for personal reasons. He sent us all instructions on what exercises to do, I fully intended to do them, but I didn't.

Part of the issue was this: On Friday night I went out with my closest girlfriends. We went to TGIF's and man, I ate stuff I shouldn't have. I'm not going to say I went overboard, I didn't. I mean I could have gotten french fries and everything else, I just ate my ENTIRE meal which honestly was enough to feed 3 people. THEN we went to the movies to see "For Colored Girls". Of course my girls get popcorn and I literally downed HALF of one bag! AND drank the diet soda to wash it down! Then I even ate a few pieces of licorice! I was SOO SOO mad at myself, but not mad enough that the next day I got back on track.

Instead, I ate off schedule and pretty much whatever I wanted. D and I even went out to eat and when I found out the restaurant didn't serve turkey burgers I said eff it and got a regular hamburger (no cheese!) and even FRIES! Fries are something I give myself once a month as a reward at the end of every boot camp cycle. See, the thing here is, I am and have and probably always will be ADDICTED TO FRENCH FRIES. It is a sickness but I love em all, big small, curly, salty, hard, soft...doesn't matter. GIMME GIMME GIMME. So I DO have to place limitations upon myself or I will eat french fries in pounds!

Rules are good. They are set by me and I need to follow them. Period. Once again on Sunday we went to church with D's mom. She then told us we were going to a buffet. At first I protested, I knew I had to get back on track and no buffet was going to help that. She was totally compliant and said we could go wherever I wanted. Needless to say, I just told her forget it we could go to the buffet. I ate my ass off. I am ashamed (but have to fess up) to say that I ate two slices of apple pie AND ice-cream. I did NOT however have any more than TWO french fries lol. Yes, I literally put two french fries on my plate LOL. I know I would have eaten more and even greasier items had I not been thinking what a failure I was being in the back of my mind.

Everyone is allowed A slip up right? My day was bound to come.

Well, heres the thing. I was aiming to lose 3 pounds this week and THANK GOD I didn't gain...but I only lost 0.4. I'm not proud of it. I don't relish in it. I'm pissed. I guess the anger is good because I'm back in boot camp and today was INTENSE. I mean INTENSE INTENSE. Probably one of the hardest days ever. Seems he just keeps pushing me to the brink.

Anyway, I've been on plan since Monday and even went out to eat with my bestfriend Tai last night and didn't go off plan. =) Here's to hoping I can drop those three pounds this week that were supposed to come off last week.

Love you all,

Picking myself back up - K

Busy Busy

Hey Everyone!

I am so sorry for neglecting you all! Been a rough couple of days and weekend! I am going to have a LONG blog tomorrow (after I take my car in for repairs!) so stay tuned. Until then, thank you for checking in and I have SO much to say!

xo,
K

I'm Freezing

I went to boot camp today but I honestly just don't have it in me to write a bunch.

I'm still injured. Still pushed through. Friday we start boxing (every Friday). I'm excited about that but this cold has got me NOT wanting to go to work outside. I cannot lie.

xo,
K

BRRRRRRRR - It's COLD in here!!

Hola senors and senoritas!

Today at boot camp was a mind fuck. First of all, I have an injury, what is it? I don't know. All I know is that I don't *think* it's my shin. It's almost to the back of my left leg and it KILLS me. What kills me MORE is when people ...no. Everyone reads this so I'm gonna chill. I have an attitude and it doesn't stop when I come to boot camp that's for sure. It's not something I'm readily looking to change so I'll deal with it.

We had to do a lot of stairs and it hurt extremely bad and I pushed through for the most part but towards the end my leg just wasn't having it! So I did squats instead...over and over and over again. I think having any kind of injury is the worst part of working out. When you have it, you can't be at 100% so you immediately become angry with your body. I wasn't so much angry with my body today but moreso with just not having enough room to do what I needed to do (try to get up the stairs) because I was slower than everyone else and some people just didn't seem to care that not everyone can go as fast so maybe they should GO AROUND. Annoying.

In the future I think I'll have to stay to one side of the bleachers in order to make sure I have enough room to continue trying to climb those steps WHEN/IF I have an injury.

I did wear my face mask today and it helped! The cold wasn't SO bad but it definitely hinders my breathing.

One good thing is that I fit into a jacket I haven't fit into in about 2 years, and it was baggier now than it ever was then. =)

I just finished some nice warm oatmeal and now off to VOTE! Please do this people! We have a VOICE so make sure yours is heard! And while you're out there voting, pick up a copy of Mariah Carey's NEW Christmas CD - Merry Christmas II You! A ton of new tunes she wrote PLUS some old classics. =) I am IN LOVE with "When Christmas Comes" =)

xo,
K

Baby It's Cold Outside....WEIGH-IN plus Before and After Pics!

Gooood Mornting! (yes I meant the *ting)!!!!!

Upon waking up this morning I think I hit the 5 minute snooze a total of 4 times. I FINALLY pried myself from D's grip and got out of bed, albeit bitter and reluctantly. Ten minutes later, I'm FALLING, FALLING, GRASPING air, FALLING and then BOOM. Hit my ass in the shower. WORST.MORNING.EVER. Luckily I'm not bruised and I did not bust my head open (just missed the water spout). I think it was probably the longest fall of my life because I kept almost standing up and yet couldn't quite wake up enough to steady myself. LOL. Now that I think about it I can laugh and figured I'd share it with all of you...but damn, it sucked at the time. It was at that moment that I realized this was NOT going to be a good morning.

Then, wouldn't you know it, I heard the garbage truck outside. This stupid garbage truck blocks my way for about 10 minutes if I don't get out in time to go in front of it, I THREW on my clothes faster than fast and jetted out the door....forgetting my face mask! BRISK air hit my lungs and I was ready to throw up. Anyway, I made it to the car and JUST pulled out in front of the garbage man. WOOHOO for wins! Yet and still, I was in no way, shape or form ready for what was about to hit me at boot camp and I almost turned around and went home just thinking about it.

The air downtown is COLD and without my face mask I was left to the brutal winter winds and their force had me at mercy. We started off with a run and it was pretty great because I ran the entire way (yay for not smoking before boot camp!). We then came back, and all of a sudden he wanted us to do sprint after sprint after sprint. It was at this point I realized today was a cardio day and wanted to die. Anyway, I went out to dinner last night with friends at the Cheesecake Factory (and still stayed within my calories, cept for a few bites of carrot cake!) and I knew I had to work that cake off! So I did it. Next up was core exercises.

W said that we have to have a strong core in order to run. Interesting, I never knew that. W had a talk with me about pushing through the burn. I explained to him that was an issue for me. I try and try but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I can't figure out HOW to break down that wall. I try to remember the feelings I have when I DO push through it but it doesn't help. I don't know why it happens when it does, but I really wish I could figure it out. I WANT to push through and get to the next level but something is holding me back.

He also said something that...hmmm I guess I could say it is funny to play it off because of course it's easier to view myself as an imbecile rather than actually GOOD at this stuff being I've never worked out before. He said that he could tell I was athletic. Meaning, he thought I had an athlete in me. I told him how all of my family played sports and everyone was actually REALLY good at it, but I just went a different route. He gave me compliments saying how far I've come and that I really do have it in me. Of course I told him he was bullshitting me to get me to push through...but I really WANT to believe him. He says he doesn't bullshit so I DO believe that...eh, I guess it's just easier to believe that you aren't goin to be great at something you've never done before. I WANT to be at a ten and I feel like I'm at a 6. How the HELL do I break through!!!

I think all of this cold weather is really getting to me!

This morning, Y told us she has officially lost 34 lbs since she joined boot camp! I think she's been in it for 4 months or so! That is SO amazing! You should see this girl! She has asthma and yet she is running and going for it (and doing Zumba on the weekends too)! It just made me so happy to hear that!

Then, F told us as of this weekend she has officially lost 70lbs since January! AMAZINGNESS! This girl does boot camp 5x a week AND pilates and sometimes I believe yoga as well! It's just amazing what we women can do when really set our minds to it.

These women are my heroes and motivation. Everyday I see them I know that I can do it and they are there smiling and pushing me through til the end.

Now for weigh-in! This week I lost 3.2 lbs!! Which brings my total weight loss to 28.6 pounds! I'm hoping to reach at least 30 by next weeks weigh in! If I can do this, with all of my ignorance and learning as I go...ANYONE can. I have never in my life ran this much (okay maybe when I was a kid) or spent this much time doing weight exercises OR ate this healthy. The great this is, I don't miss out on much. If I know I want something sweet, I make room for it in my daily intake and then make up for it the next day at boot camp. =)

Here are the before and after pictures. I'm hoping you notice some sort of difference lol

BEFORE Picture

Front - Mid September

Side - Mid September

Nov 1st 2010 - Front

Nov 1st 2010 - Side

This is VERY hard for me to post but I know I've been promising them. This is me un-altered, No sucking in, no special poses...in fact probably the worst stance for any "fat" girl. Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoyed em cuz I sure don't! LOL

I truly don't know if anyone can understand how hard it is to put all of this out here...let it all hang out if you will. I do it because I trusted that my friends/family/people in general would be supportive and help motivate me and keep me accountable. Also, for those of you also struggling with weight loss. For the most part, I was correct. But it doesn't make it any easier. =)
xo,
K