This Is A Story About Control...

My control. Control of what I say, control of what I do and this time I’m gonna do it my way. Cause it’s all about control and I’ve got lots of it. ->

Janet Jackson - Control

There are a million different ways you can take control of your life but the one I have always struggled with is my health.

After almost 9 years of smoking and using my father’s death as the reasoning behind it (he would roll over in his grave) I finally quit. I am hopeful that I will be able to maintain this without ever starting again. However, I realize that the yearning never quite goes away…but this is bigger than smoking.

After I quit I gave myself months to recover and eat and indulge and not even work out. HUGE mistake. Here’s the thing…no matter what you do, DO NOT STOP MOVING!! Seriously, it wasn’t necessarily what I ate but how I didn’t continue to care for my body. I wasn’t OVER eating everyday, I’ve long let go of the HORRID tendencies of the past but I still LOVE food so there were occasions when I know I could have eaten better. The bad part was not working those off.

Also, please remember, NEVER let someone who doesn't work out tell YOU how to eat. They have no idea of your struggle or plight.  (It's similar to listening to your single friends when you're in a relationship) Don't listen to them. Tune them out & do your OWN research, YOU take control. Don't let them take control of YOU. No one can tell you what's right for YOUR life, only you can dictate that.

Anyway, bottom line, I'll NEVER stop working out again. Remember that thing called skinny fat? Your body immediately responds after 3 weeks. Imagine all those skinny girls who don’t work out and have no muscle tone…it’s disgusting right? I would rather be completely overweight than have no muscle tone. Don’t do it to yourself…remember to work out and build your muscle to make sure that your body is metabolizing at the best rate it possibly can.

I am finally BACK in control (albeit VERY sore) of my eating habits and work out schedule and it feels GREAT. It SUCKS greatly getting up an hour early every morning to turn on Shawn T for some Insanity but after it’s all over and I’m sweating and aching, I remember “I’m in CONTROL”. I’m working on losing what little I gained & maybe even more AND gaining even more confidence and this time around, it will be even BETTER than last time because I AM NO LONGER A SMOKER!!! My lungs are thanking me every time I run an extra lap =) I remember “I’m in control and I LOVE it”.

So, instead of walking around hating your body or hating the way you look or ANY part of your life and being, remember you can totally TAKE CONTROL. It is hard work and dedication but at the end of any given day, ask yourself, did you make the most of this day? At the end of any given month, ask yourself, did you make the most of that month? Take control of your life and make an extra hour a day to make it better, whether that be taking a class to further your knowledge or working out…whatever it is, TAKE CONTROL. Stop being miserable. It TRULY IS that simple. Find the motivation and MOTIVATE YOURSELF! You should never need someone ELSE to motivate YOU.

Xoxo,

K

Quitting Smoking & Gaining Weight...oh, AND Losing It!!!

On April 14th it will officially be 3 months (or 13 weeks) since I stopped smoking. When I embarked on this journey I knew I would gain weight back, I never knew how much. I knew I'd be irritable and I knew I would eat more and work out less. During this time I also started a new job, one on a live show AND moved to a new place. Through all of this, I knew I'd gain weight, again...I never knew how much.

Could I have stopped myself from gaining? Of course, but I knew if I tried my resolve would break somewhere. It's easier to lose weight than to stop smoking...so I had to choose my lungs on this one.

I also knew that in order to continue to NOT smoke and make for a better Kristin in the future, a healthier Kristin...I had to know myself enough to know what I was capable of and not capable of if I wanted to KEEP FROM smoking forever.

I called in help from an old bff of mine, Anna B., who works in researching smoking cigarettes and she told me to allow myself food as comfort when trying to stop my addiction to something as strong as nicotine.

During the past three months I have gained 17lbs. It's ALOT. I've also gained control over my feelings towards cigarettes. Do I still think about them? Yes, but A LOT less. I also just tell myself no. It's been such a struggle but this blog isn't really about quitting smoking, it is about me embarking on a healthy lifestyle, knowing my limits and my worth and pushing through to my goal no matter the length of time it takes.

Today was the first day I trusted myself enough to FULLY 100% commit back to a healthy lifestyle of working out 6x a week and eating healthy again to the point where I KNOW I won't smoke.

I have a feelign this journey is going to be a lot different then the last one. I want to lose 40lbs. I know it may seem excessive, especially to those ofy ou who tell me I have no where left to lose, but trust and believe, I do. I also need to gain back any muscle I've lost over the last 3 months.

At the end of July, myself, my sister and cousin and Anna B. are headed to Jamaica for a girls vacation. I plan on being down at least 30lbs by then.

The plan this week is to do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for a week or two weeks and then once my body has adjusted back to exercising, jump in to a 60 Day INSANITY session nonstop.

This is the plan and I hope you guys will again, have faith and trust in me and the rest of my life and know that this journey NEVER stops.

In fact, I'm super excited to be back at it and THIS TIME with healthier lungs!! I can FINALLY say when I reach my goal this time, I'll TRULY be COMPLETELY healthy. =) With no vices. =)

Liquor Out. Smoking Out. Working Out IN =)

xoxo,
Kristin