This Is A Story About Control...

My control. Control of what I say, control of what I do and this time I’m gonna do it my way. Cause it’s all about control and I’ve got lots of it. ->

Janet Jackson - Control

There are a million different ways you can take control of your life but the one I have always struggled with is my health.

After almost 9 years of smoking and using my father’s death as the reasoning behind it (he would roll over in his grave) I finally quit. I am hopeful that I will be able to maintain this without ever starting again. However, I realize that the yearning never quite goes away…but this is bigger than smoking.

After I quit I gave myself months to recover and eat and indulge and not even work out. HUGE mistake. Here’s the thing…no matter what you do, DO NOT STOP MOVING!! Seriously, it wasn’t necessarily what I ate but how I didn’t continue to care for my body. I wasn’t OVER eating everyday, I’ve long let go of the HORRID tendencies of the past but I still LOVE food so there were occasions when I know I could have eaten better. The bad part was not working those off.

Also, please remember, NEVER let someone who doesn't work out tell YOU how to eat. They have no idea of your struggle or plight.  (It's similar to listening to your single friends when you're in a relationship) Don't listen to them. Tune them out & do your OWN research, YOU take control. Don't let them take control of YOU. No one can tell you what's right for YOUR life, only you can dictate that.

Anyway, bottom line, I'll NEVER stop working out again. Remember that thing called skinny fat? Your body immediately responds after 3 weeks. Imagine all those skinny girls who don’t work out and have no muscle tone…it’s disgusting right? I would rather be completely overweight than have no muscle tone. Don’t do it to yourself…remember to work out and build your muscle to make sure that your body is metabolizing at the best rate it possibly can.

I am finally BACK in control (albeit VERY sore) of my eating habits and work out schedule and it feels GREAT. It SUCKS greatly getting up an hour early every morning to turn on Shawn T for some Insanity but after it’s all over and I’m sweating and aching, I remember “I’m in CONTROL”. I’m working on losing what little I gained & maybe even more AND gaining even more confidence and this time around, it will be even BETTER than last time because I AM NO LONGER A SMOKER!!! My lungs are thanking me every time I run an extra lap =) I remember “I’m in control and I LOVE it”.

So, instead of walking around hating your body or hating the way you look or ANY part of your life and being, remember you can totally TAKE CONTROL. It is hard work and dedication but at the end of any given day, ask yourself, did you make the most of this day? At the end of any given month, ask yourself, did you make the most of that month? Take control of your life and make an extra hour a day to make it better, whether that be taking a class to further your knowledge or working out…whatever it is, TAKE CONTROL. Stop being miserable. It TRULY IS that simple. Find the motivation and MOTIVATE YOURSELF! You should never need someone ELSE to motivate YOU.

Xoxo,

K

Quitting Smoking & Gaining Weight...oh, AND Losing It!!!

On April 14th it will officially be 3 months (or 13 weeks) since I stopped smoking. When I embarked on this journey I knew I would gain weight back, I never knew how much. I knew I'd be irritable and I knew I would eat more and work out less. During this time I also started a new job, one on a live show AND moved to a new place. Through all of this, I knew I'd gain weight, again...I never knew how much.

Could I have stopped myself from gaining? Of course, but I knew if I tried my resolve would break somewhere. It's easier to lose weight than to stop smoking...so I had to choose my lungs on this one.

I also knew that in order to continue to NOT smoke and make for a better Kristin in the future, a healthier Kristin...I had to know myself enough to know what I was capable of and not capable of if I wanted to KEEP FROM smoking forever.

I called in help from an old bff of mine, Anna B., who works in researching smoking cigarettes and she told me to allow myself food as comfort when trying to stop my addiction to something as strong as nicotine.

During the past three months I have gained 17lbs. It's ALOT. I've also gained control over my feelings towards cigarettes. Do I still think about them? Yes, but A LOT less. I also just tell myself no. It's been such a struggle but this blog isn't really about quitting smoking, it is about me embarking on a healthy lifestyle, knowing my limits and my worth and pushing through to my goal no matter the length of time it takes.

Today was the first day I trusted myself enough to FULLY 100% commit back to a healthy lifestyle of working out 6x a week and eating healthy again to the point where I KNOW I won't smoke.

I have a feelign this journey is going to be a lot different then the last one. I want to lose 40lbs. I know it may seem excessive, especially to those ofy ou who tell me I have no where left to lose, but trust and believe, I do. I also need to gain back any muscle I've lost over the last 3 months.

At the end of July, myself, my sister and cousin and Anna B. are headed to Jamaica for a girls vacation. I plan on being down at least 30lbs by then.

The plan this week is to do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for a week or two weeks and then once my body has adjusted back to exercising, jump in to a 60 Day INSANITY session nonstop.

This is the plan and I hope you guys will again, have faith and trust in me and the rest of my life and know that this journey NEVER stops.

In fact, I'm super excited to be back at it and THIS TIME with healthier lungs!! I can FINALLY say when I reach my goal this time, I'll TRULY be COMPLETELY healthy. =) With no vices. =)

Liquor Out. Smoking Out. Working Out IN =)

xoxo,
Kristin

The End of Something Beautiful!!! Plus Before & After Pics!

220

One year ago, I posted on my Facebook page that I had started a fitness boot camp class. I started blogging and I posted it to my FB.

That first blog had NO comments. 0. No one thought I could do it, who could blame them? I'd tried and tried before and failed each and every time. The problem was, I didn't THINK I could do it. I never pushed through anything except work.

In fact, I know many people who thought it weird that I would post very personal information like my weight or a journey like weight loss on Facebook or even create a blog! But, truth be told, I had nothing to hide. I got support and was able to support others on the journey. My ego isn't so big that I can't admit when I'm doing something wrong and trying to make it right. (ie, letting my weight get out of control and getting it back under control).

I had a goal and I've succeeded in the first part of it.Whether you like my pictures, or you judge them and see the same imperfections I see...I am just me and I am EXTREMELY proud of how far I've come and can't WAIT to get to the final product, completely fit and 18% body fat.

The first day of boot camp was brutal. I remember it VERY well. I cried and I almost threw up. I couldn't keep up, I skipped exercise after exercise, panting uncontrollably at times. By the end of that first week, I could barely walk. In fact, the very first day I could barely walk, I couldn't even sit down without crying out in pain.

During the second week, I was actually COMPLETING exercises. It was crazy to me. I had stuck with it and saw major results.

One year later I am OFFICIALLY down 75lbs, meeting my first goal of 145 (145.6 to be exact) with 10 more pounds to go to reach my ultimate goal by my 30th birthday of 135.

I am embarking on Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred (I started Monday) and hoping that this along with HIIT 3x a week, my strength training at the gym and my low cal diet, that I can reach that 135 goal. However, I would be just as happy with a firmer tummy and inches coming off.

I have FINALLY realized it isn't all about weight...inches are just as important and I wish wish wish that I would have measured myself when first starting. However, I know that since December I have lost about 35inches at the very least all over my body.

BEFORE And AFTER pics!
Start: 220

155

145

220

210

149

I wonder, if I don't FEEL 30...does that mean I am still 24?

Xoxo! Next update will be when I reach 135! Or ...if I don't make it by my birthday, I shall just post birthday photos!

I seriously can't thank you all enough, the love and support you EACH have shown me has done astounding things for me...now it's time to move on to the next chapter of my life! Many thanks and MANY MANY hugs!!!!

The 12 Week Get Down or LAY DOWN Challenge! Plus a Tummy Picture (my first one!)

So, what the hell is happening to my body?! Inches are falling off, but the weight does NOT want to come off. In fact, it is REFUSING TO. So...here it goes. I'm going to finally take the plunge, say my weight loud and proud and also even post a tummy picture!

NOT because I am settling, I'm not. Hello, if you know me you know that is just NOT me. But because I always want to keep it 100 with EVERYONE and so many friends have reached out to me over the past few months with struggles of their own and seeing all of them losing weight with my guidance and their sheer perseverance has really just touched a cord in me. I could care less if people are judging the tummy picture or MY NUMBER.

The number isn't really the issue any more, it's my fat vs. muscle! I have got to lose 20lbs of fat within the next 12 weeks so I'm setting myself up for success. I have a plan laid out and yes even a cute poster board with inspirational pictures and outfits etc and yes it may be a bit nerdy but damn that's the Virgo in me coming out!

Forgive me if I am rambling as I am swamped and have to get this up for all of you, because I will be posting a breakdown later in the week of what exactly this inspirational board is and what else I'll be posting on this 12 week journey. My goals etc and I HOPE that some of you follow along with me, ESP if you're looking to lose those last 10-30!

After much debate, here is the 1st tummy picture which will be updated every four weeks and help keep my ass on track. It's not perfect and the Lord knows I have major work to do on it but it is a FAR cry from 65lbs ago!

I currently weigh 156.2 (with a goal of 135 tentatively) so, here it is:

I am currently in a size 8 jean and would prefer to be in a 6 or possibly a 4 depending on how much weight there is of fat left after the next 20lbs. There is MAJOR work to be done there and I don't ever want to kid anyone by sucking in or ish like that and I'll probably post some side views once I'm a BIT happier with the shape...I should probably also do arm photos etc. One thing you will NEVER see is my ass. Until it is as big as JLO's....I refuse. LOL

Anyway, I have GOT to get going to Spinning class as I'm going to try to do the hardest cardio in classes as possible because it seems when I work out on my own, I do about 35 minutes cardio and call it quits. If group classes work best for you, GET ON IT!!

I'll post more tomorrow or Friday!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!


Xo,
K

ps. I wore my first (what could be considered) Little Black Dress on Monday night and it was kind of AMAZING!!! I also tried on this BCBG dress I could've NEVER have worn back in the day, I almost got it but then remembered I still have 20lbs to go!

Plateau'ing Beauty!

As you all know after your body loses a bunch of weight sometimes it believes you are in a healthy place or sometimes you just plateau. I am plateauing right now and let me just tell you, it's NOT a good feeling! While I may be losing inches (and half inches) and getting tighter in areas, the weight isn't falling off at the same pace it was. That's not to say I'm not losing, I just don't find 0.2-0.6lbs each week (over a course of 3 weeks) acceptable. It's cool say, every other other week, but not every week. So it was time to keep it movin...I think the most important thing for me to mention is that it's not just about LOSING WEIGHT, more so for me I'm trying to lose FAT and keep and gain more muscle.
Therefore I have implemented a stricter work out routine and also a program called HIIT!

If you haven't heard of HIIT, this article explains it pretty well: Distance Running vs. Interval Training

However, if you don't want to read that article, here is an excerpt of the benefits of HIIT:
"In addition to burning more calories and fat, interval training is thought to provide other health benefits that endurance running can't. For example, it appears to limit the loss of muscle that sometimes accompanies weight loss. Many advocates of HIIT also point out the better—i.e. more attractive, more muscular—physique of sprinters as compared to long-distance runners. And finally, numerous studies suggest that prolonged endurance running might have negative effects on heart health".

So there you have it, most studies and doctors tell you not to do this if you are out of shape...I am starting to reconsider how IN SHAPE I am! LOL Jk...sorta! Anyway, They also say you shouldn't do this more then 2-3 times a week, I will be implementing this in 3x a week. I already LOVE the definition in my legs so I can not wait to see the results in a few months of HIIT, here's hoping it works out for me! That said, continuing strength training is VERY important to me. Once again, that whole skinny-fat look is SO not for me. I love seeing every little bit of definition I have, no matter how small.

I will continue to do my strength training 3x a week and cardio 5-6x a week. =) I have my calories back down to 1200-1600 a day and hoping I can keep that up, I'm DONE with the Birthday parties of the month so no more cake or cookies! That said, here is my work out routine written out for the week! Mind you, I've already done Monday - Wednesday. =)


Monday
30 minutes cardio on elliptical
3 sets of 12 Suicide Squats with 20lb dumbbell
3 sets of 10 tricep curls w/ 25lb weight
3 sets of 15 bicep curls 35lb weight
100 crunches
3 sets of 12 rows for back w/ 60lb weight

Tuesday
HIIT - 30seconds sprinting, 30 seconds walking repeat 12x - Seriously killer, I really thought this would be the simplest thing EVER. I thought okay so they say I can maximize my work out and that these are SO HARD but I'm going to whip right through these. Yeah, about 6 minutes in my heart was out of my body and I only kept going to save face to everyone around me. Although I suspect that everyone didn't know what I was doing and were all thinking I was a crazy lady. Oh-well I am STILL sore the next day...sooo something was done right!
20 minutes elliptical

Wednesday
Day Off

Thursday
30 minute cardio on elliptical (Gluteal 5)
3 sets of 12 Suicide squats with 20lb dumbbell
Dumbell bench press  3 x 12 w/ 15lb weights (total 30lbs)
Cable row  3 x 12 (55lbs)
Dumbell curl  3 x 12 (20lbs)
Dumbell extension 3 x 10 (25lbs)
Sit up 3 x 25

Friday 
HIIT - I'm going to do at least 12 again but aim for 15. We'll see how that goes!
20 minutes elliptical

Saturday 
30 minutes elliptical
Dumbell lunge 3 x 12 (15lbs - total 30)
Dumbell floor press 3 x 12 (15lbs)
Seated dumbell press 3 x 12 (15lbs)
Standing calf raise 3 x 20
Dumbell shrug 3 x 15 (15lbs)
Dumbell side bends  3 x 12-15 (20lbs)



Sunday
Day Off (Will probably do a leisurely activity like play basketball with D for an hour or so). I will update when the day comes!

Monday - 
HIIT
20 minutes Elliptical

Tuesday
30 minutes Elliptical
Dumbell step-up 3 x 12 (15lbs)
Dumbell floor press 3 x 12 (15lbs)
Lat pulldown 3 x 12 (35lbs)
Standing hammer curl 3 x 12 (20lbs)
Lying dumbell extension 3 x 12 (15lbs)
Lying floor leg raise  3 x 25


Anywayyyy, On Monday I am hopinggggg I have some good news to report of at least a one pound loss! The thing to remember is, NEVER get discouraged, don't let ANYTHING bring you down...and most of all DO NOT GIVE UP! You keep going and pushing until you reach your goal, no matter what. And my goal? To be a HEALTHY, FIT woman by 30!

xo,
K

When Apologizing Isn't Enough! - I'm Sorry! Plus WEIGH IN!

I know, I'm ready for it. If you guys were all here and in my ear and I allowed you to slap me and scream and yell would it make it better? Over the past few weeks I have received so many texts and personal visits of people telling me to UPDATE MY BLOG ALREADY!!! So here it is...I am FINALLY settled in to a routine and ready to continuously update at the very least 3-5x a week. Promise.

Well where to begin? I will have a weigh-in at the end of this post and then again on Monday (to get back on track) even if it doesn't move much.

So here's the thing...the more I lose, the harder it is to get the weight to come off. Sometimes I only lose 0.4 in a week! That's crazy to me because I still remember that first week of losing 7lbs! LOL (of water weight!) but then I watch the Biggest Loser and even on shows like that those people are gaining! I NEVER gain. Okay, I won't say never, I should say, I try to never gain =) But when it's that TOM...ugh don't even get me started on TOM. Although I do love the big whoosh downwards after it's all over, damn water weight!

Anywayyyy, moving on. This past weekend was my very good friend Dr. T's 30th Birthday. She has been a friend of mine for over 9 years from when I first moved to NJ. She invited me into her circle of friends with open arms and while all of us are goin through major life changes right now  (I'm talking seriously, she just had a baby and got married, another just got engaged, one just graduated law school and here I am trying to get healthy and drop this weight!). With our busy schedules it's rare we all can get together at once so this dinner was going to be a great night for that!

There's one of the ladies in particular that I always love to see and chat with! (and one not so much haha) anyway, to me she has always been the epitome of beauty! Hell, they all have. When I first moved here from my county ass town I used to wonder if I'd EVER be able to pull off the styles they wore etc...I don't think I have even mastered that yet but hell, I've come a long way lol. Anyway, let's call her Cee for short.

I see Cee as the epitome of beauty and class really. I've never looked at her weight as being an issue EVER. Yet here she was telling me she wanted to lose 10lbs. I sat there and looked her up and down and couldn't see ANY part of her that I wouldn't have wanted to be before I learned I could lose weight and learn to love my body. It's interesting because I look in the mirror now and D shows me where he can see my abs forming and I am STILL not happy. I don't think I can or will EVER be happy til I get down to my goal weight!

Wait, I am happy. I'm just not ...SATISFIED. That's what I should say. Because don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE looking in the mirror now. Hell, I do it when I wake up, after a shower, after brushing teeth, just when passing BY a mirror and again before bed. The mirror is my new bff! But it's just so weird to me because I still see SO much more work that has to be done...but did I mention I wear a size 8 in pants now? Yes man. It's true.

Alas, what can ya do? I guess it is crazy that I've lost 60+ lbs and still have 20+ to go. It boggles my mind where I was 7 months ago but damn, how much longer til I've lost 80 and can finally just say...YEAH IM HERE!!!

Tomorrow (or Friday) I will blog and give you guys my work out schedule so you can see what I do weekly and if you have any tips or need any, we can be there for each other. =)

Weigh-In

So it's been awhile but the last time I did a weigh-in (on this blog, trust I do them at home once a week), it was March 1st. And if I'm being honest with myself, the weight just isn't coming off as fast, and if I'm being even MORE honest with myself, I could cut back on the yummy food a little bit more.

So here is what I wrote as of March 1st 2011:

I lost 2lbs this week bringing me to a total of 57.8lbs lost in 28 weeks. 26lbs to go! Let's GO!!!!!

Now it brings us to April 13th 2011 (today!) and this is where I'm at: I have lost a total of 4.2lbs since March 1st, bringing my total weight loss to 62 pounds in 34 weeks. I could have done better DEFINITELY, regardless of my body slowing down. I do go to the gym religiously, I think it's more just me getting back on track with my eating habits.

Of course any weight loss is always a good weight loss but I'd like to average that 2lbs a week again. I know it may not be logical but can a sister at least average a full 1 pound a week? That was like a 0.8 average up there!

Anyway, when I lose 7 more pounds I will be OFFICIALLY giving you my weight. Those closest to me already knew my starting weight and they know my current but, at 7 more pounds I'll feel comfortable enough to shout it out. Hell, it may need to be 13 more pounds lol anyway...I love you guys and if you're reading, LET ME KNOW (since ahem* some of you told me you read and love it but don't comment!) don't be a ghost reader! I am NOT a ghost writer!

xoxo,
K

Sidebar: I ran my first mile without stopping a couple of weeks ago and was able to run 2.1miles in 23 minutes. of course this may not seem like much to you, but to me, I'm just proud I was able to finish! Trying to work my way up to 3 miles in under 30 minutes, even if it takes all year. =)

Whewwwww

A lottttt going on in my life right now! Including, me joining a gym!

Davis and I have finally joined the same gym and I will definitely keep you guys updated on that and all of the classes they offer! It's time for me to move on and spread my wings for a bit, as my disdain of the way Boot Camp handled the challenge and how the fitness testing was done really got to me and pissed me off. I had to accept that and move on. It got me so far and now I have to go even further and I have got to venture out and see how certified trainers teach and influence! I want to learn all I can!

I have GOT to shake these last 23lbs before the summer hits! I don't care if I have to work out 2-4 hours a day 5x a week to get there!

Motivation was lacking, especially since my personal life took over and I had to deal with all of the issues there. Fortunately, I've gotten really good at maintaining and gained nothing during that time. Hopefully I can drop a pound or two by next Monday and let you guys know my official weigh-in numbers, which WILL be posted on Monday so stay tuned for that blog.

As of Monday, I will be back to regularly updating and all that jazz and soooo I look forward to sharing the stats and updates with you all!!!

xoxo,
K