Too Late, My Time Has Come...

"send shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth". - Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

My truth? I'm obese. In the past 6 weeks I have decreased my BMI by 3.2, I have lost weight (you'll see the weigh-in figures below) and I have also lost more than a few inches around different areas of my body. However, I am still obese. In fact, if you're looking at my pictures and saying "I'm bigger than her" or "I'm about that size" then you too are probably obese...only you're in denial.

Nothing bothers me more than when a person thinks they are just the same as everyone else "The average woman is not a stick"...no but the average healthy woman isn't obese either. Being overweight is one thing, still not good but I'd rather be there than obese. People look at me and they say "You're not even that big"! That is NOT my truth. Don't feed me bullshit.

After boot camp today, while walking with L and our trainer, W, they both told me that I am shrinking and they notice it. I'm glad someone does! The great thing about this, whether I believe it or not, is that I do TRUST them. I know W would never lie or say something that isn't true. He has nothing to gain. I've never heard him utter a word of "you're looking better everyday" to someone that isn't. So if he says it, I may not believe it myself, but I trust it.

The reason I chose the lyrics above are simple. For the past 6 weeks I have been living my truth and leaving behind all the people who bullshit me, feed me fries and milkshakes knowing I don't need them (nor do they). The people who wanna "grab a quick bite at McDonalds" while KNOWING I'm on a whole different path. The people who say "You look fine girl, one freaking burger ain't gon' hurt nothin'!". Those people are not MY people. They are not FOR me. Hell, they aren't even for themselves.

If you have people like this in your life and you are on your way to a new lifestyle...have a talk with them. If they seem to not be supportive, drop em. Quickly. I almost find it as pity. Pity is something I have never tolerated. I am too strong of a woman to need anyone's pity. Feed that shit to someone else. I'm full.

Moving on...

Today's boot camp was great! The rain was pouring down (ya'll know I love me some purple rain).

The new shoes? Oh man, perfection. I highly recommend Asics 2150 for those of you out there who may have bad knees, get shin splints easily, overpronate (I know - I had to look it up too), or just need more support in a running shoe. Did I mention they are way cute? Took me awhile to find a pair that was both supportive AND cute. They are a bit on the shiny side but I can deal. They will probably be black and blue from the track by the time I'm done with them anyway. Eh - What can ya do.

I'm gonna backtrack a bit, all the way back to High School. At good old RIHS I was...a drama/newspaper staff/choir person. Not in the sense that I got slushies thrown on me like the people in Glee...although I love Glee...I mean I would have hit anyone that did that...but I loved it all. My dad, all 5 of my brothers, my sister, my entire moms family and my entire dad's family all played SPORTS. No one was into anything I was into. I was almost like the black sheep of the family. Hell, I think I still am being I am all the way on this side of the world and every last one of them lives in the Midwest....but I digress...

Back at RIHS, in gym class the gym teacher would constantly ask me to join the track team. She said I was amazingly fast and I'd be great. Ha! I said no thank you and went straight to yearbook staff meetings. =) My mother said that I always beat every kid on the block when racing. I don't remember any of this, except the time I fell and scraped my damn knee while racing some little punk. He totally tripped me...anyway! (How the heck do I get so off subject?! My brain is insane!)

Anyway, long story short, I BELIEVE I could be good at running. Today we did short intervals. W said I did great. I actually came in 2nd in one and 1st in the other. I'm not sure if it's the shoes, me knowing I'm good or if it's just because I like the burn afterward, but I think I can dig running. The problem lies in my breathing.

My lungs are fucked. I've GOT to quit smoking. I'm just going to have to get to the point where I am tired of coming in last at long distance running and tired of feeling like I'm about to die after short runs. Once I get to that point I guess I'll be broken and I'll have to quit.

Overall - Today was a great day at boot camp. Although, I think my legs will be killing me for awhile. We did these leg lifts today that were honestly NO JOKE.

I came home real quick, and I took out my Light Chocolate Muscle Milk to drink. I had put it in the freezer for 20 minutes because I like my drinks extremely cold. Unfortunately, muscle milk is nasty.

I almost spit it up. I forced myself to drink half of it and then I grabbed a bowl of special K cereal with skim (yep! This week I start drinking skim!) milk.

D is going to have to drink the rest of that muscle milk. I was absolutely SO excited to come home and try it! I'm so bummed that it is that freaking nasty. I may try making skim chocolate milk. We'll see. No matter what, I am going to continue to drink milk after my workouts. I notice my body feels so much better when I do.

Weigh-In Time!

We are officially 6 weeks in and to date I have lost 18.2lbs! My mini-goal is to lose 25 by the end of this cycle so I have to step it up.

I think my body is hitting a plateau. Which means, in order for me to get over it I need to get back to the nitty gritty. 4-6 small meals a day. Watching what I eat more seriously. Don't get me wrong, I watch it, but I know I can do better. And most importantly, not missing ONE day of boot camp the rest of this cycle.

Get ready ya'll, cause I'm about to go IN! Or at east try =)

xo,
K

LOVING your comments and your tips! My goodness you guys are a bunch of helpful people! Did I mention every word of you thanking me for my inspiration inspires me SO SO much more than you will ever know. I actually use your words to push myself harder when I feel like I can't go anymore. Thank YOU.

Happy Monday!

New Boot Camp Cycle - Weight Loss Weigh-In!

Hello my lovey senoritas and senors. =)

Today marks the first day of a new boot camp cycle! How excited was I? VERY, yet ...not really. I mean, I was stoked to go and meet the new faces but usually I'm pretty much alone when it comes to working out 5x a week. There are other sessions (like the 5:45, but I'm sticking with the 6:45am session) where the girls come 5x a week but mostly, people do the 3x a week thing.

Moving on...we all had ONE week off! I ENJOYED it. I decided to let my body rest, not do any research and just try and eat right to the best of my ability. I succeeded! Not that hard to succeed when you don't have to wake up at 5:30am, however the eating was a bit hard. I'm getting better though.

What am I doing RIGHT NOW? I am drinking milk! WTF. I cannot STAND milk. I think it's vile, nasty...okay just typing that is making me want to spit it back up. Let me try to focus on the positive...it's okay when it's ice cold. I also like dipping oreos in it...but alas, I have no oreos and wouldn't do it if I did.

D has been telling me for WEEKS that I need to drink some kind of protein shake or something after I work out. I've seen his nasty ass protein shakes. I'm not going there and I refused. Who can down something so thick and sugary and all those different flavors? I'll keep taking my vitamins and eating cereal and call it a day. That is until I woke up.

I decided there was a reason my muscles were sore and just coming off of it during the week we had off. I jumped in yesterday and decided to do research. Turns out, as usual (and as I really did know in the back of my mind) I do need SOMETHING.

I read this article: Drink Your Milk!

If you don't have time to read the article, the basic premise is this: 
According to a study published in Medicine & Science in Sport & Exercise, women who drank two large glasses of fat-free milk after lifting weights gained more muscle and lost more fat than women who drank sugar-based energy drinks. Scientists also found they increased their lean body mass and got stronger.

This is a recent study! I love this stuff!

How stupid could I be to truly believe that my body could handle all of the extra weight PLUS all of the running, jumping, resistance and weight lifting I was doing? Especially, ALL AT ONCE when I've never in my life done it before?! Even the most athletic people have to drink something to help their bodies recover. What an ego maniac I was!

As I'm typing this, I just finished my milk. It wasn't so bad. =)

Right now I'm drinking 1% but I am guessing I'm going to have to go down to skim soon. I'm going to try the 1% for a week, see what happens. Then try the skim, see what happens in the 2nd week. THEN I'm going to POSSIBLY try muscle milk LIGHT (I love that they have light). We'll see, I want to make sure I'm not adding too many calories for something I absolutely abhor, yet I also want to keep my body healthy.

Today in boot camp we had 5 people. It's crazy! The class before has 20 girls easily! I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't mind. Less people to compete with and W is able to show us each individual attention. I'm imagining though that throughout the week, some of the regulars will be back and ready to go. I can't wait. =) I miss F and Y! (F is on vaca).

It was crazy...all I could think about was my first day of boot camp exactly 5 weeks ago. How I cried, how I whined, how I yearned to stop and did more than anyone else...how my body gave out on me and most of all? How hard everything was.

W took me to the side today and told me that this session he is going to expect more of me. I think I expect more of myself too. I'm not sure...but I really believe I do. He wants me to push through the burn and the pain so I can come out feeling great. I know what that feels like, I've done it before. The process is murderous. I already feel like I'm dying sometimes when I do it but I know that I could give more. On a scale of 1-5 today I rated my effort at a 4.

On our morning jog though, I was able to run longer than ever before. Still not up to par with some of the vets, but I'm getting there. =)

I just feel good knowing that this time I was nowhere NEAR tears! I left boot camp once again feeling victorious and happy.

Alrighty, time for weigh-in.

In five weeks I have officially lost 16 pounds. It may not seem like much, or it may seem like a lot. I don't care. I'm doing all that I can exercise wise and also food wise. I am not starving myself, I'm eating. I am not doing something so unrealistic that I can't keep it up. Progress comes slowly and I can't imagine being that girl 5 weeks ago who couldn't do a few push ups.

Thank you guys for all of your love, support and checking in on me! Your comments and emails mean the world to me. TRULY they inspire me and push me!

Love love love you!
K