I Told You Give Me a Minute & I'll be Right Back... PLUS WEIGH-IN

Beyonce - Diva - This song ALWAYS gets me pumped and I tend to imagine myself singing it about weight loss and how far I've gotten rather than about selling records. =) I'm a dork.

If I ever get complacent and start to feel myself TOO MUCH, there is nothing like a quick dose of reality to put me in my place. Every month when I do my before/after pictures I see how far I've come and yet how far I have to go.

Today at boot camp I was going off about 2 hours of sleep. Exhausted, I climbed out of bed and into the cold brisk dark morning and headed to boot camp. Albeit reluctantly. It's crazy, when I'm there I'm in love. I love the girls, I love the work outs. I love pushing myself...I love to see if I can do the "challenge by choices" (These are exercises that he gives but then adds something special, like standing on one foot while doing it) and then if I can, I just am filled with overwhelming pride.

Sometimes, I get so discouraged and angry at myself if I can't do something. All it takes is a quick reminder through my blog to remind me what my first week at boot camp was like. I couldn't even BREATHE let alone finish any exercise. The great thing about BC? None of that mattered then and it doesn't matter now. I am only in contest with myself and seeing how far I've come is truly a testament to that age old saying "If I can do it, anyone can". I guarantee I could run laps around just about anyone out there. At least for ten minutes =) Ha!

It's crazy because I know I am SO hard on myself and it's only been 16 weeks! I see how far I've come but for some reason I want it all and I want it now! Luckily my head game is smarter than my heart game because I know that losing weight at an unhealthy pace is not safe for me or for my skin! So, I push all that aside and keep trucking along. Some days are great, some days are HARD, some days I don't succeed at all but overall, I am striving and that is all I can ask for.

Well it's the time you've all been waiting for! Weigh-In for week 16!

I lost 2.2lbs this week bringing my total up to 38lbs lost EXACTLY! I am thrilled with this however I wish I could just break 40lbs! Once I'm at 40lbs I will be at the halfway point and I honestly NEED that. I wonder where all of the fat went because when I look at my before and after photos...I dunno. It just reaffirms that I still have a ways to go! The goal is to get there by May 2011 but we shall see.

Okay, so picture time! Here is a picture of me BEFORE starting my journey:

Before 

This picture was taken 3 weeks after the start of boot camp. So I had lost over 10lbs by this point:

Sept 10th 2010

Sept 10th 2010

Now here are the pictures I took this morning...YES! In the same exact shirt! I think that is where I can tell the biggest difference. The arms are looser and the stomach area is looser. It looks like a completely different shirt.

December 6th 2010

December 6th 2010

And just for the heck of it, Here is a picture from this past weekend in a tighter shirt and NOT after just having sweat out my hair working out:

It's hard looking at these photos but it is definitely a reality check. If I thought I had come far, I am correct. That shirt is hanging completely off of me (which I should probably fix and get some tighter shirts in order to properly track the loss). It doesn't hug my curves or show off my shape at all! BUT it does help me see that I have to keep on pushing! 42lbs (maybe more) to go and a lot of toning needed!

Thank you for checking in and as always, your comments are MUCH appreciated! I need all the encouragement I can get. =) Hence the reason, I don't mind sharing this on Facebook with my over 600+ "friends". Who else in the WORLD would have the cojones to do that?! Eh, I'm KG bitches. I do me.

xo,
K

A Goal Properly Set is Halfway Reached

Hello all of my lovely readers. I feel so blessed to have my life to share with you all and even more blessed that so many of you care enough about me, to continue to read my ramblings everyday =)

Today's topic is about, you guessed it, setting goals.

After watching Thintervention last night, I was so disgusted with one (count: almost all) of the participants. It was amazing in the end though. One of the ladies experienced something that I experience every day that I push myself extremely hard. "the zone". It is the feeling I get when running, this amazing clearness of mind body and soul and it feels great. There is no question of stopping it's just GO. Jackie kept telling them to access their "inner warrior" but what does that even MEAN?!

W is constantly telling us to push through the pain, which is essentially the same thing. There are a million different ways to say this, and of course you can understand the concept, but can you put it into action?

It is SO much easier to give up. I used to tell D that he could never understand what it feels like to be fat because he's always been tall, skinny and athletic and he had no idea what it felt like to come from a family of obesity. I actually thought he was kind of a loser in that aspect. How strong could he be if he didn't go through what I went through? I threw MYSELF a pity party. I may hate pity from others but man, I love to sympathize with myself.

I know differently now. Yes it is hard to be overweight, obese and come from a long family line of obesity. That doesn't mean you have to follow the cycle. It's the same as any other situation you may come from. Just because you were brought up on welfare doesn't mean you have to succumb and continue to stay on it all your life. In fact, face it...you're weak if you do.

Setting SMALL goals is a way to get immediate gratification. My first small goal was to reach ten pounds lost. I did that in two weeks. The problem then came when I didn't reach my 25lbs lost fast enough. I thought for sure because I have dropped 30lbs in 6 weeks before that now that I was adding working out I would drop it in no time flat. Not true. The truth is I am eating better now, not starving myself and of course I'm gaining muscle. It's going to be a longer progression but my short term goals are helping me in this journey.

The next goal is to drop 25lbs. I am 7lbs away.  I KNOW I can do this by the end of this boot camp cycle. I just have to continue to step up to the plate. Sure, I could give in when I'm at boot camp, when W says to run two laps around the track, I could say eh, no thanks. He wouldn't yell at me or even judge me (at least to my face)...but is that truly going to help me accomplish my goal? Who am I cheating? I'm not cheating him, I'm cheating myself.

So the next time you are contemplating whether or not you want to get up and go for that extra jog or an extra ten push-ups, ask yourself if it will help you reach your goal. The answer will always be yes. No one can carry you on their back. The more weight I'm losing, the easier it is for me to run. I can hold more of myself up now. Not just because I'm gaining muscle, but because I'm losing some of that weight that I found so hard to carry.

It was a rainy day in boot camp today but I gotta give it up for myself. I went, fought hard for my life and pushed. It feels great.

My only hope is that everyone out there gets up, gets out and does something. Whether it be in your career, relationship or health wise. Setting a small goal will help you achieve your dreams. Trust. This small town girl from the Midwest who came from nada did it once and I can do even more this time. =)

xo,
K

Too Late, My Time Has Come...

"send shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth". - Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

My truth? I'm obese. In the past 6 weeks I have decreased my BMI by 3.2, I have lost weight (you'll see the weigh-in figures below) and I have also lost more than a few inches around different areas of my body. However, I am still obese. In fact, if you're looking at my pictures and saying "I'm bigger than her" or "I'm about that size" then you too are probably obese...only you're in denial.

Nothing bothers me more than when a person thinks they are just the same as everyone else "The average woman is not a stick"...no but the average healthy woman isn't obese either. Being overweight is one thing, still not good but I'd rather be there than obese. People look at me and they say "You're not even that big"! That is NOT my truth. Don't feed me bullshit.

After boot camp today, while walking with L and our trainer, W, they both told me that I am shrinking and they notice it. I'm glad someone does! The great thing about this, whether I believe it or not, is that I do TRUST them. I know W would never lie or say something that isn't true. He has nothing to gain. I've never heard him utter a word of "you're looking better everyday" to someone that isn't. So if he says it, I may not believe it myself, but I trust it.

The reason I chose the lyrics above are simple. For the past 6 weeks I have been living my truth and leaving behind all the people who bullshit me, feed me fries and milkshakes knowing I don't need them (nor do they). The people who wanna "grab a quick bite at McDonalds" while KNOWING I'm on a whole different path. The people who say "You look fine girl, one freaking burger ain't gon' hurt nothin'!". Those people are not MY people. They are not FOR me. Hell, they aren't even for themselves.

If you have people like this in your life and you are on your way to a new lifestyle...have a talk with them. If they seem to not be supportive, drop em. Quickly. I almost find it as pity. Pity is something I have never tolerated. I am too strong of a woman to need anyone's pity. Feed that shit to someone else. I'm full.

Moving on...

Today's boot camp was great! The rain was pouring down (ya'll know I love me some purple rain).

The new shoes? Oh man, perfection. I highly recommend Asics 2150 for those of you out there who may have bad knees, get shin splints easily, overpronate (I know - I had to look it up too), or just need more support in a running shoe. Did I mention they are way cute? Took me awhile to find a pair that was both supportive AND cute. They are a bit on the shiny side but I can deal. They will probably be black and blue from the track by the time I'm done with them anyway. Eh - What can ya do.

I'm gonna backtrack a bit, all the way back to High School. At good old RIHS I was...a drama/newspaper staff/choir person. Not in the sense that I got slushies thrown on me like the people in Glee...although I love Glee...I mean I would have hit anyone that did that...but I loved it all. My dad, all 5 of my brothers, my sister, my entire moms family and my entire dad's family all played SPORTS. No one was into anything I was into. I was almost like the black sheep of the family. Hell, I think I still am being I am all the way on this side of the world and every last one of them lives in the Midwest....but I digress...

Back at RIHS, in gym class the gym teacher would constantly ask me to join the track team. She said I was amazingly fast and I'd be great. Ha! I said no thank you and went straight to yearbook staff meetings. =) My mother said that I always beat every kid on the block when racing. I don't remember any of this, except the time I fell and scraped my damn knee while racing some little punk. He totally tripped me...anyway! (How the heck do I get so off subject?! My brain is insane!)

Anyway, long story short, I BELIEVE I could be good at running. Today we did short intervals. W said I did great. I actually came in 2nd in one and 1st in the other. I'm not sure if it's the shoes, me knowing I'm good or if it's just because I like the burn afterward, but I think I can dig running. The problem lies in my breathing.

My lungs are fucked. I've GOT to quit smoking. I'm just going to have to get to the point where I am tired of coming in last at long distance running and tired of feeling like I'm about to die after short runs. Once I get to that point I guess I'll be broken and I'll have to quit.

Overall - Today was a great day at boot camp. Although, I think my legs will be killing me for awhile. We did these leg lifts today that were honestly NO JOKE.

I came home real quick, and I took out my Light Chocolate Muscle Milk to drink. I had put it in the freezer for 20 minutes because I like my drinks extremely cold. Unfortunately, muscle milk is nasty.

I almost spit it up. I forced myself to drink half of it and then I grabbed a bowl of special K cereal with skim (yep! This week I start drinking skim!) milk.

D is going to have to drink the rest of that muscle milk. I was absolutely SO excited to come home and try it! I'm so bummed that it is that freaking nasty. I may try making skim chocolate milk. We'll see. No matter what, I am going to continue to drink milk after my workouts. I notice my body feels so much better when I do.

Weigh-In Time!

We are officially 6 weeks in and to date I have lost 18.2lbs! My mini-goal is to lose 25 by the end of this cycle so I have to step it up.

I think my body is hitting a plateau. Which means, in order for me to get over it I need to get back to the nitty gritty. 4-6 small meals a day. Watching what I eat more seriously. Don't get me wrong, I watch it, but I know I can do better. And most importantly, not missing ONE day of boot camp the rest of this cycle.

Get ready ya'll, cause I'm about to go IN! Or at east try =)

xo,
K

LOVING your comments and your tips! My goodness you guys are a bunch of helpful people! Did I mention every word of you thanking me for my inspiration inspires me SO SO much more than you will ever know. I actually use your words to push myself harder when I feel like I can't go anymore. Thank YOU.

Happy Monday!