Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner
Seriously love this song...It helped to bring me back down to earth. True story. I'm nowhere near the level of stupidity the girl in the song he is speaking of is, but...I've been there before and I DO NOT want to go back. Getting older is such a blessing as you learn and grow and CHANGE! I love it =)
I'm going to jump right into the weigh-in and tell you guys how much I lost the first week of the challenge and then I'm going to go into just a BIT of the mental parts of losing weight FOR ME and lastly, I'll give you guys a few healthy snack choices that you can easily fit into your calorie range. Just remember, no food 2-3 hours before bed and you should be good =)
This week I dropped a total of 3.8lbs! Yay!!! That brings my weight loss to 47 pounds in 22 weeks!! 3 pounds away from losing 50 freaking pounds!!! Okay well technically it's 46.8lbs lost. =) The goal for next week is to lose at least 2.2 but I'm aiming for 3-4. Let's see how that goes. =)
It's insane to even think about. It may not seem like a lot to those of you out there that are struggling with weight loss as well but imagine carrying around an extra 47pounds ball with you everyday on your way to work. Not fun!
Here's the thing. I know I have it better then some. Mentally, I'm fine, and by fine I mean I KNOW I'm cute. No one can tell me otherwise. I look in the mirror at this face and I love it. True story. I mean, yes I could stand for some botox in my forehead (soon enough) but overall I mean...I really was blessed with such a cute face.
But there is also an underlying problem in that mental state of mine. There is this phenomenom called "phantom fat", (Phantom Fat - MSNBC article) and while I DO NOT have the exact description, I do have parts of it. For instance, I'll see a space in front of me...my brain is telling me I can't fit through it and to turn to the side, when I do, I realize I have tons of space around me and remember, Oh yeah...I've lost a lot of weight. Somehow my brain has yet to catch up. I'm not quite there yet. Another example is when you go to the store to buy clothes, and you get the same sizes you used to get only to realize after trying them on that umm they are two sizes too big. It's a very weird thing to experience. I am trying to reprogram my mind around those issues. Like I said, I don't have it as bad as some. I don't hate myself or my body...in fact I was told today to stay humble. Why? you ask...well I mentioned that I was going through FB pics yesterday and about to take SO many down or hide them from my friends because I couldn't BELIEVE I let myself get that big or that I even had the AUDACITY to post pictures of myself looking like that! But, a great point was made, I have to remember where I came from to get where I am going. There is nothing more in the world that I want more, then to be confident AND have the ability to do anything physically that I aspire to.
So with that said, I think I need to be reminded (and maybe remind all of you) how far I've come and how I truly used to be "that girl" that I never wanted to be. You know, the one who couldn't do more then one push up, the girl who could barely run for more then ten seconds. The one who CRIED the first day of boot camp during AND after hysterically.
I truly thought the hardest part of this journey was going to be getting started. I mean it seems like this MASSIVE road is in front of you and how the HELL are you supposed to get to the end? Then, a light bulb went off in my head. I realized the hardest part was going to be maintaining and getting BETTER. There is ALWAYS room for improvement so my head DOES have to come down some. I'm not sure if I'm ready to work on that yet. I like feeling confident, the one thing I have to remind myself of and DEF begin working on is worrying about others. I'm in competition with no one but myself, I have to keep reminding myself that just because *I* think I'm better then the next person at something, there was also a time when I wasn't. I'm going to start working on that from now until the end of my life and apply it to everything I do, whether it's work, fitness or my relationships.
I've learned SO much about myself and food (don't even get me started on how much WRONG information people are giving out there!) and just my addiction to it and what caused me to become the size I was, that I feel as though if I can get this completely under control, only THEN will I truly be able to help others realize their potential and be an inspiration.
When people tell me I have inspired them, I just want to say no no no. Truly. I can't be an inspiration until I have everything under control and maintenance. For now, I just gotta work on me.
The most important thing I think anyone entering a program is that it should never be JUST about vanity. Sure, that is a reason for everyone but your health should be numero uno. Who wants to be the fat mom who can't run with her kids at he park? Feeds her child terrible things? Or the dad who sits on the couch flipping the station while vegging out with a whole pizza to himself while his kids beg him to play ball?
Now is the time to fix all of that so that my kids never even WANT fast food. So I know how to make a healthy meal that they'll love. So I know that when my kids want to learn to ski, go swimming, go hiking and camping that I'll be the mother right up there with them racing them to the end. THAT is the me that I was destined to be and that only *I* can make myself be.
I read a lot about people blaming their parents for their eating habits. My children will NEVER place blame on me.
Anyway, I think I've written enough today huh? Just want to give you guys a few healthy SNACK options for those times in between lunch and dinner or breakfast and dinner =)
Remember, 4-6 small meals a day is genius.
1. Orville 100 Calorie Smart Pop - LOVE THIS. No need to add salt! It has a GREAT taste.
2. Trader Joes Turkey Jerky! OMG Heaven! I went on a MISSION to find this this past weekend. A serious one. It is so amazing as an extra snack! Just remember not to eat the whole bag in one sitting. If you do, it's fine but I recommend 1/3 of the bag per snack.
4. As usual, grapes, bananas (yum!), oatmeal, pears, ANY FRUIT really are all great for you. But don't overdo it, there is a LOT of sugar in some of those.
5. If I know I'm going to be out for awhile I sometimes take protein snacks with me. I will take about three pieces of thinly sliced turkey and roll it over a pickle, (make 2 of them) and put them in a baggy. If I get hungry I have a great healthy snack waiting for me. =)
And with that said, I'm off! Next week I'll be taking some before and after photos =) It's been a month and I think it's about that time!
Now if I could just stop smoking....
sidebar: Anyone catch that show Heavy on A&E last night? My girl Tiff MADE ME record it lol and honestly I'm glad she did. It gives such a great perspective on the MENTAL side of this whole weight loss thing. Crazy. If you didn't catch it I highly recommend it to ANYONE!