As many of you read in a previous blog, I've been having issues with a friend or two, whom since I've lost weight have suddenly gained shitty attitudes. These are bigger girls and I just WISH they'd see themselves in the same light as I ONCE saw them. Needless to say, they've been CUT! I just have no time to waste on people with shitty attitudes or a jealousy streak these days.Word.
So this blog is basically dedicated to ME! If you don't love yourself, who will?
But first, I will tell you...boot camp today was HARSH! My legs are like jelly mixed with peanut butter, stiff yet wobbly. They are so fucked ha!..but it feels SO GOOD! Ugh, I can't even believe the level of energy I have been putting in every single time. Today our trainer told us about a Jan-March challenge he has coming up, UM I AM SOOOOOOOOO EXCITED! More on that when the time draws near. =) Today was a LOT LOT LOT of leg exercises while using free weights. Cardio and suicides (that I could've died during) and then MORE legs and glute exercises. If my ass isn't completely firm after another year of this I think I'll die.
I haven't been SKINNY since a non eating year in college when I was interning 20+ hours a week, working 30+ hours and taking 21 credits...oh and living on ramen and vodka! (still made cum laude that semester too!).
Sooo today... I feel good. I feel like I could work out everyday. I feel PRETTY!!! (It does help that my boyfriend tells me every day a million times how beautiful I am, but no, I sorta always knew it, I just lost my face in fat!). In the words of LL Cool J..."Even when I'm bragging, I'm being sincere". I think knowing you're beautiful is a powerful thing. If you feel wonderful outside, you're going to reflect that inside and to the rest of the world in other positive ways. Call it cocky, whatevz. The more I lose, the prettier I get. Can't help it. It's not my fault. By the time I'm at goal weight AND completely toned, no one will be able to penetrate my skin. It's already hard, but by then? I seriously doubt anything in the world could bother me.
I guess that makes me one of the lucky ones. My parents never called me fat. They never said I was ugly. In fact all I ever heard was how perfect I was and how I could do anything I ever set my mind to. (Boy did they get that right!). So I've never really had self esteem issues. Other issues? Sure. But the self esteem issues came ONLY when I was overweight. Sure, like any High School girl I would say things like "Ugh, I am fat!" but truthfully only because I heard others say it did I join in. I rocked whatever the hell I wanted and never felt ugly. Today at boot camp we were speaking about superlatives. HELLO! I was voted most individualistic for a reason!
|15 years old with a lip piercing in small town Illinois!|
|Umm someone shoulda just said NO|
Somewhere between college and adult-hood I became obsessed with work. I lost my flair for fashion (I grew up in the midwest, my biggest influence was the spice girls and wearing bindis/jewels all over my face and arms - Totally the only one in my school who did this - so weird!) and instead partied ALL of the time, blew money, worked and LIVED! I don't regret it AT ALL, but I do see what I would do differently if I had a second chance.
Yes yes, this blog may seem self appreciating. I guess in a sense it is. I FEEL GOOD. Working out makes me feel GREAT. Like I accomplished something that ONLY I could accomplish, because only I can make ME get out, get up and DO SOMETHING about my current health.
Remember, we are ALL beautiful. Every last one of us. Women have an inner power ALWAYS, take that to your outside as well and KNOW you are beautiful.
So in closing..."Get yourself together, don't hate. Jealousy is the ugliest trait. I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty and if you know it too then ladies sing it with me! No question that this girls a ten, don't hate me cause I'm beautiful. It's not my fault so please don't trip. Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful".
If that's not motivation...I don't know WHAT is.
ps. I promise tomorrow won't be so self loving =) It's boxing day at boot camp! YAY!!