It sucks to know you should be doing something but you don't.
Here is the deal.
Saturday we went to Six Flags to celebrate my birthday. I felt like (and so did everyone) I should be really proud of myself. We got lunch specifically from Wa-Wa before going. (Don't judge me, It was my choice and I freaking LOVE their sandwiches!) and I drank nothing but water all day (as usual) but then around 6pm after all that walking around and the smells of funnel cakes and ice cream and pizza wafting to my nose...D and I decided to split an order of fries. =/ I know I know. I hadn't eaten french fries in a month. It's not like I committed a murder but for some reason I felt SO BAD afterward.
Then I realized, I spent all that time walking around the park, hours in fact, going on rides and enjoying MY day so splitting an order of fries is something I NEVER would have done. In fact, I would have had a burger, fries AND a funnel cake or ice cream, ALL to MYSELF. So splitting an order of french fries? Not gonna kill me.
Did I mention after all that we also went to see a movie and I avoided the popcorn, candy and soft drinks? Yeah, pretty rad.
Sunday, I woke up with a sore back (Thanks Kingda Ka!) and did our grocery shopping (bought a new crockpot yay!) and pretty much stayed in. We had so many season finales to watch, including the VMAs. Anyone catch True Blood? So not impressed with that finale....anyway...
I stayed on track Sunday for the most part. Only problem? Once again, I didn't eat six small meals. I definitely didn't eat anything too bad but I really should have had 6 small meals. It's SO hard for me on the weekends.
Monday was a free day for me. It was my ACTUAL birthday. D got me a cupcake as requested, I ate half of it. I felt horrible after. Is this what it is going to be like forever? I mean, I know the answer to that...of course not. But how do you enjoy foods that you once loved and then feel guilty afterward? It's not a fun feeling.
I did NOT work out on Monday and once again today, I did NOT work out. I
The day isn't over, so I'm going to hope and pray I can just get up the energy and go for a run later. Usually, I celebrate my birthday all week with drinking, parties and rooftops and MORE drinking. I didn't this year and that is an accomplishment within itself but I could be doing better.
Even more depressing? I weighed myself today and I lost .2lbs. 0.2!!! UGH. So demoralizing, yet it is better than gaining and with a new bootcamp cycle starting next week I know I can lose 2lbs this week (I WILL be working out the rest of this week Wed-Fri) and next week the goal is going to be 3lbs.
I CAN do this and I WILL do this. I just gotta get my mo-jo back. Damn birthday. =/
So, goals? To lose 1.8lbs at least by next Monday. (9/20)
Second goal? To lose 3lbs the following week by 9/27)
Here's to praying it can happen.
Morale to this story is, if you're not working out, you're not helping yourself. You truly are only hindering yourself. My entire mental state is fucked because of skipping workouts. Not to mention I just read an article that says it can take you up to a year to really get used to WANTING to work out. The motivation has to be internal versus external. Here's a link to the article a friend shared with me: It takes more than a year to truly get into exercise . Oh Joy. Luckily, I kind of already knew this and more than my outside rewards, I want to be healthy.
With that said, I'm off to find some motivation for this week. First blog post that wasn't so positive? Sorry guys. =(
Love you all!
K
On a side note, here is a picture taken of me at six flags. It was one of the first times that I actually liked the first shot and didn't have someone retake it.
I'm not sure if that is arm definition but I'd like to believe it is. =)
Also as an aside, my old supervisor, LN, just joined a bootcamp (in her neck of the woods of Brooooklynnn) and thanked me for the motivation. How amazing is that?! Way to go LN! Cannot WAIT to hear more about it!
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