My truth? I'm obese. In the past 6 weeks I have decreased my BMI by 3.2, I have lost weight (you'll see the weigh-in figures below) and I have also lost more than a few inches around different areas of my body. However, I am still obese. In fact, if you're looking at my pictures and saying "I'm bigger than her" or "I'm about that size" then you too are probably obese...only you're in denial.
Nothing bothers me more than when a person thinks they are just the same as everyone else "The average woman is not a stick"...no but the average healthy woman isn't obese either. Being overweight is one thing, still not good but I'd rather be there than obese. People look at me and they say "You're not even that big"! That is NOT my truth. Don't feed me bullshit.
After boot camp today, while walking with L and our trainer, W, they both told me that I am shrinking and they notice it. I'm glad someone does! The great thing about this, whether I believe it or not, is that I do TRUST them. I know W would never lie or say something that isn't true. He has nothing to gain. I've never heard him utter a word of "you're looking better everyday" to someone that isn't. So if he says it, I may not believe it myself, but I trust it.
The reason I chose the lyrics above are simple. For the past 6 weeks I have been living my truth and leaving behind all the people who bullshit me, feed me fries and milkshakes knowing I don't need them (nor do they). The people who wanna "grab a quick bite at McDonalds" while KNOWING I'm on a whole different path. The people who say "You look fine girl, one freaking burger ain't gon' hurt nothin'!". Those people are not MY people. They are not FOR me. Hell, they aren't even for themselves.
If you have people like this in your life and you are on your way to a new lifestyle...have a talk with them. If they seem to not be supportive, drop em. Quickly. I almost find it as pity. Pity is something I have never tolerated. I am too strong of a woman to need anyone's pity. Feed that shit to someone else. I'm full.
Today's boot camp was great! The rain was pouring down (ya'll know I love me some
The new shoes? Oh man, perfection. I highly recommend Asics 2150 for those of you out there who may have bad knees, get shin splints easily, overpronate (I know - I had to look it up too), or just need more support in a running shoe. Did I mention they are way cute? Took me awhile to find a pair that was both supportive AND cute. They are a bit on the shiny side but I can deal. They will probably be black and blue from the track by the time I'm done with them anyway. Eh - What can ya do.
I'm gonna backtrack a bit, all the way back to High School. At good old RIHS I was...a drama/newspaper staff/choir person. Not in the sense that I got slushies thrown on me like the people in Glee...although I love Glee...I mean I would have hit anyone that did that...but I loved it all. My dad, all 5 of my brothers, my sister, my entire moms family and my entire dad's family all played SPORTS. No one was into anything I was into. I was almost like the black sheep of the family. Hell, I think I still am being I am all the way on this side of the world and every last one of them lives in the Midwest....but I digress...
Back at RIHS, in gym class the gym teacher would constantly ask me to join the track team. She said I was amazingly fast and I'd be great. Ha! I said no thank you and went straight to yearbook staff meetings. =) My mother said that I always beat every kid on the block when racing. I don't remember any of this, except the time I fell and scraped my damn knee while racing some little punk. He totally tripped me...anyway! (How the heck do I get so off subject?! My brain is insane!)
Anyway, long story short, I BELIEVE I could be good at running. Today we did short intervals. W said I did great. I actually came in 2nd in one and 1st in the other. I'm not sure if it's the shoes, me knowing I'm good or if it's just because I like the burn afterward, but I think I can dig running. The problem lies in my breathing.
My lungs are fucked. I've GOT to quit smoking. I'm just going to have to get to the point where I am tired of coming in last at long distance running and tired of feeling like I'm about to die after short runs. Once I get to that point I guess I'll be broken and I'll have to quit.
Overall - Today was a great day at boot camp. Although, I think my legs will be killing me for awhile. We did these leg lifts today that were honestly NO JOKE.
I came home real quick, and I took out my Light Chocolate Muscle Milk to drink. I had put it in the freezer for 20 minutes because I like my drinks extremely cold. Unfortunately, muscle milk is nasty.
I almost spit it up. I forced myself to drink half of it and then I grabbed a bowl of special K cereal with skim (yep! This week I start drinking skim!) milk.
D is going to have to drink the rest of that muscle milk. I was absolutely SO excited to come home and try it! I'm so bummed that it is that freaking nasty. I may try making skim chocolate milk. We'll see. No matter what, I am going to continue to drink milk after my workouts. I notice my body feels so much better when I do.
We are officially 6 weeks in and to date I have lost 18.2lbs! My mini-goal is to lose 25 by the end of this cycle so I have to step it up.
I think my body is hitting a plateau. Which means, in order for me to get over it I need to get back to the nitty gritty. 4-6 small meals a day. Watching what I eat more seriously. Don't get me wrong, I watch it, but I know I can do better. And most importantly, not missing ONE day of boot camp the rest of this cycle.
Get ready ya'll, cause I'm about to go IN! Or at east try =)
LOVING your comments and your tips! My goodness you guys are a bunch of helpful people! Did I mention every word of you thanking me for my inspiration inspires me SO SO much more than you will ever know. I actually use your words to push myself harder when I feel like I can't go anymore. Thank YOU.